Buried by the Competition

Early Thursday, at Werner Bjoern’s funeral parlor, An irksome occurrence had spurred his alarm, for He’d heard, as it were, from Herr Bertram Von Berd, (Of Big Bert Von Berd’s Morgue, up on Sherman & 3rd) Who had learned Laverne Berger (of Urns By Lavern), Planned a merger that merged her with Ernest Ferr’s Urns. […]

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The Ballad Of Guffins The Gallant

Of the joust, proclaimed Gallant Sir Guffins, “With each vict’ry, my fortitude toughens!” In his cups, though, he’d say, Where his heart truly lay, Was in farting upon English muffins. ♣ And as errant air blared from his fanny, Bid the Knight (with no absence of canny) To his squire “Egad! Henceforth, butter these, lad, […]

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Night Of The Loving Dead

♥ “It’s over” she croaked, choking back sallow tears, To her lover, aquiver with dread, “Your perversions have worsened, affirming my fears, I’ll enable you no further, Ned.” ♥ Brushing her cheek with his clammy, grey hands, Gently stroking her dull, thinning hair, Which promptly fell out into wet, moldered strands, As his eyes met her cold, lifeless stare. ♥ “Since last […]

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The Pigeon Shit Predicament

Ø As Pierre mixed the rat poison into the rice, His thin lips formed a hideous grin, “Those pestiferous pigeons will soon pay the price,” Laughed he over his toxic concoction. Ø But uncooked was the rice, when the pigeons chowed down, So not a one got very far, And rather than shit,  to his […]

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Handy Hector Heinrich

◊ Hector Heinrich had once been right-handed, Until around mid ’98, When the digital porn scene demanded, He approach things a much different way. ◊ At the juggling act, the man proved himself deft, It was plain to see how randy Hector was. When he clicked with his right and he pumped with his left, […]

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