‘Twas Midday Before Christmas

‘Twas midday before Christmas and Lachlan MacLinner, Was out hunting game for his family’s dinner. Plaid stockings clung tight to his legs with great care, Whilst, not one, but two hats, hid his red, thinning hair. ♥ At his kilt did the cruel winter wind bite and tear, Making prunes of a norm’ly more pendulous […]

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Alice

When Alice watched space shuttles launch on TV, There would pool in her panties a puddle. As she gobbled up popsicles, weakened of knee, Would her fair, freckled skin flush and ruddle. ♣ ‘Neath her pillow went pickles and cold cobs of corn, Troves of Twinkies amassed ‘mongst her socks, Dismayed neighbors watched on, once, as Alice, one […]

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Who, Me?

θ The silver-tongued Baron Von Buttercup Preferred playing at parlance in verse, Conceiving it consummate coverup, Serving persons profoundly perverse. θ

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Boners on Busses

↑ I awoke with a start, when ahead the bus forged Down the street when I noticed, aghast, That my member, with blood, was now fully engorged, And a raging hard-on had amassed. ↑ Try as I might to diminish the tent In my trousers with unsexy thoughts, The recalcitrant ‘rection refused to relent, And […]

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Night Of The Loving Dead

♥ “It’s over” she croaked, choking back sallow tears, To her lover, aquiver with dread, “Your perversions have worsened, affirming my fears, I’ll enable you no further, Ned.” ♥ Brushing her cheek with his clammy, grey hands, Gently stroking her dull, thinning hair, Which promptly fell out into wet, moldered strands, As his eyes met her cold, lifeless stare. ♥ “Since last […]

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Tube Socks

Δ Moldy tennis balls firmly affixed to the feet Of his walker, he slithered, unseen. Then each locker, of socks, did he feebly deplete, As he loosened his worn gaberdine.  Δ Confirming the corridor’s coast to be clear, He inhaled deeply into the pile, Down his pants, he then made a stray sock disappear, And relieved himself into […]

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A Midwinter Night’s Dream

∞ An immaculate blanket, pristine, cold and bright, Surrounded it thoughtlessly, airy and light, The butterscotch blemish besmirching the white, Lay aloof and alone, all but blind to its blight. ∞ Cast away, strewn aside, sat the sad swarthy slight, For the bear that had passed it had passed out of sight, Like a whistling kettle, […]

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Waldeen

λ Waldeen had a wide-set vagina, Into which she stashed wealth of all kinda, Every treasure she’d snatch, Found its way up her hatch, At her craft, there was nobody finah. λ

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The Pigeon Shit Predicament

Ø As Pierre mixed the rat poison into the rice, His thin lips formed a hideous grin, “Those pestiferous pigeons will soon pay the price,” Laughed he over his toxic concoction. Ø But uncooked was the rice, when the pigeons chowed down, So not a one got very far, And rather than shit,  to his […]

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